Cooking all day! #cooking #yummy #squash #kugel #zucchini #lemon #cinnamon #honey #chickpeas
What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?
My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)
#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)
Things that shouldn’t have been cut out of the Harry Potter Movies: ST FUCKING MUNGO’S HOSPITAL FOR MAGICAL MALADIES AND INJURIES
ALSO THE FUCKING POINTS HOURGLASSES WHY WERE THESE THINGS CUT I AM SO ANGRY
AlSO THE HOUSE ELVES SWARMING OUT OF THE KITCHENS DURING THE BATTLE OF HOGWARTS
ALSO GINNY’S BADASS PERSONALITY
One of the first things they ask you in the ER is to rate your pain on a scale from 1 to 10. I’ve been asked this question hundreds of times and I remember once, when I couldn’t catch my breath and I felt like my chest was on fire, the nurse asked me to rate the pain. Though I couldn’t speak, I held up 9 fingers. Later, when I started feeling better, the nurse came in and she called me a fighter. “You know how I know?” she said, “You called a 10 a 9.” But that wasn’t the truth.
I didn’t call it a 9 because I was brave. The reason I called it a 9 was because I was saving my 10…and this was it.
Fuck. This scene took my fucking heart out. I died. I cried so hard in the theater. I fucked up my mascara and eyeliner. I went home and got really drunk with my roommates just so I couldn’t feel anything for the rest of the day.